My Problem With Racoons

We call them coons in this neck of the woods. And where I grew up, yes it was actually woods, coons were (and still are) a problem. Sure they look like cute little banditos, but they are big fat mean angry smelly pests. They get into the garbage, they have sex under the porch, they climb all over the roofs, they wash food in the pond, they go up against the cats, and the dogs, and the occasional small child.

I remember one particularly funny coon incident. I was out visiting my mother and I had purchased some new beauty products on my way. I have a bit of a "smelling like food" addiction. There was some cinnamon bun shampoo, vanilla perfume, that kind of thing which I left in the car. Anyway, that night the racoons, hilariously, climbed into my car looking for the food. They upended the whole darn vehicle, got inside everything and left muddy paw marks everywhere. No food. To this day I am amused by the very idea of how frustrated they must have been.

"Where is it? I can smell the cinnamon! And the vanilla! I can smell it, Joe, I swear! It's taunting me!"

So, this Sunday I was out on the bike and dumped her at low speed because of, you guessed it, a raccoon. This one was dead in the road and I braked too hard, didn't want to put my foot down on the dead coon, and just went right over. Stupid in someone who's been riding for 18 years. Nothing major wrong except that 500 lbs of bike landed on my left ankle. (Poor Carmen lost her gear shift and a bit off the clutch, some scrapes here and there but otherwise fine.)

So I'm laid up this week with a sprain, which turns out to be a good thing. Nothing to do but edit. Well, and winch on at you lot about coons.

Speaking of which, back to the editing mill for me.

Pip pip, and watch out for those racoons!


Your Tisane of Smart . . .
Tiny Tech

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .
Four Types of Dramatic Tension

Deportment & Deceit ~ The Finishing School Book the Second: Second draft read through.
Etiquette & Espionage ~ Finishing School Book the First: Release date Feb 5, 2013. Working promo schemes.
Manga ~ Soulless Vol. 2: (AKA Changeless) First chapter reviewed, drops on YenPlus April 12th. Print release tentatively Dec. 2012.
Timeless ~ Parasol Protectorate Book the Last. Out now!
Prudence ~ The Parasol Protectorate Abroad Book the First: Release date Fall 2013.

BIG FAT SPOILER ALERT on the Parasol Protectorate series! Really, DON'T READ THE BLURB ON AMAZON if you haven't read the other books first!

The Omnibus hardback editions are limited run through the SciFi Bookclub only.

The manga editions, Vol. available in print, Vol. 2 by subscription to YenPlus.

Most short stories available in ebook form world wide!

The first Finishing School book ~ Not yet Released

Book News:
Interviewed over on Sirens of Suspense.

Quote of the Day:
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
~ August Strindberg (1849 - 1912), A Madman's Diary, 1895

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