Tart Talk (Vol. 2): In Which Jane And Alexia Avoid the Stinky Bag

When last they met, Nicole Peeler's character, Jane True, and my character, Alexia Tarabotti, had a little difficulty communicating. Nicole thinks they’ll become fast friends once they learn to decipher each other’s language. I'm not so sure. But, as she says, "Until then, the shenanigans continue…"

Alexia: Well, my dear Miss True, how are you?

Jane: Hey lady! Yay! So happy to see you! After the “chafing” incident from last time, you looked a bit horrified, and I wasn’t sure if I’d hear from you again. . . Anyway, I’m great! And, um, I’ve brought you something.

*holds out a gift bag*

Alexia: What’s this? Tea? In little baggies? Remarkable, I have never seen the like. Ingenuous concept.

Jane: Yeah! I knew you were kind of disappointed when all I had was coffee and then you called me Italian. So I brought some tea with me . . . Most of it’s from the café at Read It And Weep. There’s some chamomile, and rooibos, and some mint . . . and my hippie nahual friend, Amy, gave me some “cannabis tea,” but I think it’s just pot. It’s in the stinky bag.

Alexia: Those are not tea, those are tisanes. There’s no tealeaf in them. I suspect they have some wonderful medical applications, however. Thank you my dear, very thoughtful. The way my life has been going recently, I shall surely need poultices and medicinal compounds in abundance. So, it has been some little time since our last conversation, how are you weathering your maiden voyage about the fated sea of interwebs?

Jane: Oh, I think I’m doing okay! It’s a lot of work, though, the blogging. Neither my author nor I had ever done any blogging before the book, so we’re both sort of learning as we go. Your site rocks, btw. I love how organized it is, around themes. Very nice!

Alexia: Oh, my dove, I hired People. You know what they say? Good staff is so hard to come by, but I got very lucky indeed. I got myself this fantastic girl, like for doing one’s hats, only she decorated the site instead of my latest bonnet. And then a man, very properly, did the actual construction. I like to think of him as my website’s custodial butler. Now, I hear from an acquaintance of mine that you have been caught fraternizing with vampires. Are you certain a young lady of your delicacy ought to do so unchaperoned?

Jane. Ha ha! Delicacy! Love that! Ummmm, I think young women of my “delicacy” should definitely fraternize with vampires. Ryu is awesome to fraternize with. Just please don’t mention the idea of “chaperoning” to him . . . I’m not having the threesome talk again!

Alexia: Vampires can be quite difficult. Lord Akeldama is always using strange words like that as well. Although I hear they are slightly different in the Americas. Are you finding this to be the case?

Jane: Oh, yeah, Nicole’s vamps are totally different than your vamps. But you shouldn’t really call her vamps vamps, either. . . everybody’s gotta be special in her world. *rolls her eyes* And yeah, they can be difficult. It’s hard being with someone who really has needs. Like when he says, “I have needs,” he means, “I have to nibble on women to survive,” not, “I’m making up a lame excuse about why I can’t corral my johnson.” There’s also the biting. It feels awesome, but can get messy. But I guess everything fun can be messy, wouldn’t you agree? You must have terrible problems with the shedding.

Alexia: Jane dear, remember, do, that I have People for that kind of thing. I could hardly be expected to clean up after Lord Maccon, now could I? You cannot possibly be implying that you must to, urm, tend to your little vampire friend? Can you? All on your lonesome, with no help? Shocking. Really, quite shocking. Speaking of which, I must admit I found the window dressing for your memoirs rather daring. Now that we have met in person, your eyes are simply not quite that big. Why did you allow your portrait artist to take such liberties?

Jane: Yeah, at the time I was like, “Nicole, dude, give me a sword!” and she’s all, “Jane, you’ll poke your eye out,” and I’m all, “Ohmigod this is like the freakin’ Christmas Story!” But I gotta admit that even though I felt super awkward standing there all naked for Sharon to paint me, it was the right thing to do. I’m not, like, a normal urban fantasy heroine, ya know? I mean, you at least have a parasol. My ancestors juggled shit on their noses. So I think the cover represents the tone of my book. Although I woulda rocked the hell out of a big ass broadsword . . .

Alexia: On their noses? You don’t say? What extraordinary behavior. Were they Irish? Your ancestors, I mean. I hear strange things about the Irish.

Jane: I don’t know if my mom was from the Irish side of the selkie family . . . unless the Irish are naturists? Cuz mommy dearest had a penchant for the nuditas . . . Not like you and all your underwear!

Alexia: Undergarments, please. And must we go back to that? You seem terribly terribly fascinated with my small clothes. Could we be a tad more civilized? Tell me about your Christmas, was it terribly exciting? I know you American types are rather racy in your approach to holiday cheer.

Jane: My family’s not really into the Christian aspects of Christmas. But I do believe in Santa. After everything I’ve seen, recently, I know he’s gotta be out there somewhere. Tracy and I always cook a big dinner, and this year we had quite a crowd with all the Rockabill supes attending. But it was super fun. And Ryu drove in. That was exciting. He brought mistletoe, but we found other places to hang it than from doorways.

How about you? Do you guys make one of those crazy British fruitcakes that you soak with booze for eons, then light it on fire?

Alexia: Oh, yes! I do love Christmas pudding. I find food so much more appetizing after it has been set on fire. Don’t you?

Jane: Totally. Nothing like a flaming skewer of meat to make my mouth water. *pauses* Sorry, that sounded wicked dirty. And one thing I don’t like is when people try to set me on fire, like they keep trying to do in my second book. In fact, going back to what you mentioned earlier, I know what we can talk about next time! We can talk about laundering/first aid tricks for the urban fantasy heroine!

Alexia: On, fire? You? How gauche. I have problems with werewolves in skirts, myself. All those knees. We must get together and commiserate.

[This is a repost of the original which appeared on the Orbit site, here.]



Gail's Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
I am greatly honored that Clockwork Couture has put an octopus parasol up for sale in my honor!

Your Tisane of Smart:
14 Concept Appliances That Need To Be Made
Your Writerly Tinctures:
Check out this interview with Tempest Rising cover artist Alley Sharon Tancredi.

"What an absolute treat this book was to read!" ~ The Book Whisperer
SPOILER ALERT! Amazon and Powell's have posted Changeless cover along with blurb. Blurb gives bits of Soulless away so don't read if you haven't read the first book.
Blameless: Done, happy dance.
Super Secret Project H: treatment submitted to agent. Paused.
Super Secret Project F: notes stage, working on it this week
CAKE in Space: Trunked for the moment.
Non-fiction short: (can go up to 3000) scheduled for next week
Fiction short: (can go up to 13,000)

Quote of the Day:
"Writing is a lot easier if you have something to say."
~ Sholem Asch

In The Beginning There Was Confusion

I am beginning a number of projects right now, Gentle Reader. I'm not afraid of the blank page, in fact, I kind of like it. There are so many possibilities. But, that said, this is still an odd time for me as a writer, I always feel a little spacey and scattered when I'm starting projects. And beginning four projects at once? You can well imagine, the zombies have eaten my brains.

What the start looks like.

This absent-minded-professor-ness ends up trickling into my everyday life. I nearly left the house this morning in my fuzzy slippers, not a great look paired with a pencil skirt and pattern tights. I keep making tea, leaving it somewhere, and forgetting about it. Then I have to trail around the house looking for abandoned tea mugs, and spend long moments staring sadly down at the now undrinkable cold beverage. Terrible loss of perfectly good tea. I also wake up in the middle of the night with strokes of brilliance, which, upon assessment in the cold (gray, rainy) light of day, turn out to be rather less brilliant.

Normally this goes on for only a week or so, but with four new projects, I have a sinking feeling this period will last longer than usual. I wonder if I shall survive it? I'll certainly run out of tea at this rate. And I probably shouldn't be driving.



Gail's Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
Octopus cookies! Hopefully not made with real octopus.
Your Tisane of Smart:
Handful of Iron Beads Offer Clues to Solve Mystery of Ancient Iron Forges
Your Writerly Tinctures:
In conjunction with Jaye Wells's recent post about writing fight scenes I suggest checking out Fight Science on Hulu. Particularly good if you write fantasy, or anything that has hand-to-hand combat in it. And, as a friend pointed out, the character studies are pretty funny too.

"A charming and very witty mix of a multitude of sub-genres." ~ Parajunkie for Blog with Bite.
SPOILER ALERT! Amazon and Powell's have posted Changeless cover along with blurb. Blurb gives bits of Soulless away so don't read if you haven't read the first book.
Blameless: Done, happy dance.
Super Secret Project H: notes organized, treatment submitted to agent. Paused.
Super Secret Project F: notes stage, working on it this week
CAKE in Space: Trunked for the moment.
Non-fiction short: (can go up to 3000) scheduled for next week
Fiction short: (can go up to 13,000)

Quote of the Day:
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."
~ Oscar Wilde

Monday Ketchup Blog

I've been bopping about a few steampunk discussions recently, Gentle Reader. Over on Erotic Horizons I'm being quoted in a blog, and I had a blast participating in the Romance Diva's Steampunk Workshop forum. Some really great discussions got going there.

In conjunction, I've also done a massive overhaul on my steampunk reading list.

Also had a recent interview over on SFF Chat. Here's a sample:
SFF: After finishing Soulless, I went over to visit your website where I discovered that in addition to writing you are also an archeologist, a field that I have always been fascinated with. Can you tell me a bit about your archeological work? How has your background in archeology influenced your writing?
GC: I have an MS in materials archaeology with a focus on inorganics, and an MA in anthropology with a focus on ceramic artifact analysis. Which means that while I have some field experience I've spent most of my time in the laboratory sticking artifacts into very expensive instruments that go "beep." Read more...

The SF Examiner talks Alex Awards.

My agent gets interviewed.

I'm launching several new projects this month and preparing for the Nova Albion Steampunk Exhibition, which is why I have been so scatty about blogging, and delayed in answering emails. I apologize, but it is necessary. I'm instituting a firm policy of no social media on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So, just FYI I will not be available at all online on those days (or on the weekends).



Gail's Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
Modern interior design on a luxury yacht.

Your Tisane of Smart:
Armsted snow motor from the 1920s.
Your Writerly Tinctures:
My dear friend Phran has an fabulous interview up with Robert Silverberg.

Book Rat says, in brief, "Read it. Soulless is exactly what I wanted and didn’t get from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It’s a pithy, funny, tongue-firmly-in-cheek mesh of Victorian manners and morés, and absurd occult occurrences."
SPOILER ALERT! Amazon and Powell's have posted Changeless cover along with blurb. Blurb gives bits of Soulless away so don't read if you haven't read the first book.
Blameless: Done, happy dance.
Super Secret Project H: notes organized, treatment being revised
Super Secret Project F: notes stage, nothing on computer yet
CAKE in Space: Trunked..
Non-fiction short: (can go up to 3000)
Fiction short: (can go up to 13,000)

Quote of the Day:
"The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas."
~ Linus Pauling

Interview at The Book Whisperer

Being interviewed today, Gentle Reader, over on The Book Whisperer. Here is sample,

Always treacle tart or do other puddings get a look in?
Oh, other puddings, by all means. Particularly custard. I am a sucker of custard in all its many forms.

This is good, because I have a million things to do today and I am already behind.



Gail's Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
David Tennant in drag
Your Tisane of Smart:
Transparent toaster.

Your Writerly Tinctures:
Manuscript request from an agent? Don't sweat the small stuff.

Strange & Random Happenstance is a particular fan of Lord Akeldama and his drones. "Do to their cackling dandy herd mentality and the name of Drones and knowing that the author is a fan of P.G. Wodehouse, I can't help myself envisioning a whole different take on the Drones Club. This one would be more stylish, with lots more purple silk and more overt Wildean overtones." Shush, tell no one, the connection between the two "drones" was entirely fortuitous and unintentional.
SPOILER ALERT! Amazon and Powell's have posted Changeless cover along with blurb. Blurb gives bits of Soulless away so don't read if you haven't read the first book.
Blameless: Done, happy dance.
Super Secret Project H: notes organized, treatment next week
Super Secret Project F: notes stage, brainstorming this week
CAKE in Space: Trunked for the moment.
Non-fiction short: (can go up to 3000)
Fiction short: (can go up to 13,000)

Quote of the Day:
"The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think."
~ Edwin Schlossberg

Getting Over Writer's Block & Alex Award

Just in a quick note, I was delighted to find out this morning that Soulless has appeared on the American Library Association's Alex Awards list. "The Alex Awards are given to ten books written for adults that have special appeal to young adults, ages 12 through 18." Many of you know how near and dear YA is to my heart, so I am particularly honored by this recognition. (The weirdest part is that I started a story this morning with a main character named Alex ~ before I found out.)

And now on to your regularly scheduled blog...

Getting Over Writer's Block

I'm not one of those authors who prattles on about writing being some sacred undertaking you just have to do for yourself and no author should give another advice and blah blah blah. True, some of us writers are beret-wearing cognac-swilling arteests, but most of us are sweatpants-sporting caffeine-addicted artisans. We write because it's a job, and, that, Gentle Reader, really isn't romantic.

I think you can learn to write. I think that it is a craft. And I think you are all perfectly capable of deciding whether to heed someone's advice or not.

A young lady recently asked me what I did about writer's block. I used to say "I don't get writer's block," but what I think is more accurate is that I have work-arounds that cause writer's block to be more transient for me. So here you go, I'm going to dole out advice.

What to do if you get writer's block:

• Outline. No really, just flipping write one. (You can call it a "treatment" if the word "outline" scares you.) Miracle of miracles an outline tells you where to go next plot-wise. If the current scene isn't working, you can just move on to the next scene and come back later. Some authors hate outlines. An entirely unscientific survey has shown that these authors are 80% more likely to suffer from writer's block. (Yeah, I just totally made that up, but it sure sounds good.)
• Switch POV. I sometimes write multiple POVs (yes, I know I'm doing it, no, I don't care, call me a risk taker, ah-cha-cha) but lately I've settled on two POVs most of the time. If one POV character isn't playing nice, I switch to the other one. Although, be warned, you can loose original voice this way and you may have to fix it later.
• Introduce a new character, stage right. You can always edit her/him/it out later. But sometimes a scene needs new energy ~ I always get mine from characters. Make them amusing enough and no one cares if they are superfluous.
• Have an argument. No matter how well matched or friendly, your characters must disagree on something. They could even argue about where to go next. I love doing dialogue so this is a fall back position for me (truth be told, I also love arguing). Don't forget, arguments can also be internal ~ Nicole Peeler is the master of this inner quandary.
• Drop something out of the sky. No, literally. (Ha, a double pun, I kill me.) AKA have something explode, or crash, or jump out with a knife. You don't have to know why it happens, not yet, but it will certainly move things along.
• Describe more. I hate this one but sometimes learning more about the atmosphere around your characters causes something new to pop out. I default to describing fashion, but whatever works, right?

Even if none of the above solutions make sense for your story, at least it keeps you writing. Not everything has to be perfect right away, you can always go back and change it, or delete it entirely, later. This it your story, you are the absolute master of it.

I used to be a pretty bad "starter but not finisher" of stories, and I think it was because once I had introduced a character I got bored with her (or him). Now I just keep throwing things at them because I realized that they have more to tell me than I originally thought.

So, those are my tips. Use them at your own peril.



Gail's Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
Wings of Steam has a great 2009 Steampunk Year in review blog.
Your Tisane of Smart:
io9 on Sherlock Holmes Brings On The Steampunk Tweed Hotness
Your Writerly Tinctures:
Wait, didn't you see this entry?

Alayna Raquelle muses the following: "I also really enjoyed the character of Lord Maccon's Beta, Professor Lyall--he was a sweetie!" (I have a soft spot for reviewers who like Lyall.)
SPOILER ALERT! Amazon and Powell's have posted Changeless cover along with blurb. Blurb gives bits of Soulless away so don't read if you haven't read the first book.
Blameless: Done, happy dance.
Super Secret Project H: notes stage, organizing this week
Super Secret Project F: notes stage, brainstorming next week
CAKE in Space: Trunked for the moment.
Non-fiction short: (can go up to 3000)
Fiction short: (can go up to 13,000)

Quote of the Day:
"If you haven't got an idea, start a story anyway. You can always throw it away, and maybe by the time you get to the fourth page you will have an idea, and you'll only have to throw away the first three pages."
~ William Campbell Gault

Gail's Top 10 Favorite Podcasts for Improving Your Life

In honor of the New Year and all those New Year's Resolutions that come with it, I am offering up some finds, Gentle Reader, that I am hoping might help you with your endeavors.

1. Make It Green Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for an Earth Friendly Life ~ Resolved to be more green? This podcast will help you out in under 10 minutes a pop. Sadly, now poddead, most of the information (from 2008) is still relevant and applicable. And, look on the bright side, at least you know you can start and finish it. I haven't made my way through them all yet, but she does answer such pressing questions as: Which is better, plastic or paper bags?

2. Classical Mythology podcast ~ Hoping to appreciate classical art more, visit museums, or improve your understanding of the ancient world? Give this podcast from Learn Out Loud a try. It is comprised of biographical information on the Greek pantheon, 15 mins long or less. That said, if you really want a good basic understanding of Greek mythology you can do no better than to read D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths.

3. The History of Rome ~ If you resolved to learn something new in 2010, how about the history of Rome in 20 minute bites? Mike Duncan goes in depth, covering extra details that neither High School nor colleges would have had the time to deal with. As an added bonus, he has a chocolate-smooth voice that is ridiculously easy to listen to. I suggest you spoil yourself by combining this with a marathon watching of the best historical series ever to hit the airways: Rome. Feel like you know enough abotu Rome? Why not try a podcast detailing the history empire that US schools seem to always skip over: 12 Byzantine Rulers: A History of the Byzantine Empire.

4. Friday Night Comedy podcast from BBC Radio 4 ~ Trying to stay abreast of current events but can't face the depression of actually listening to the news? Try this 30 minute British comedy show. It switches between The Now Show and The News Quiz. Information about world events disseminated through humor, for those who favor the Daily Show over CNN, this is your podcast. If not try . . .

5. Global News from the BBC ~ 25 minutes long, several times a day, it will fill your catcher up fast, but if you want to stay abreast of international news, there is no better podcast out there. Usually covering only three or four stories, you can easily fast forward through the ones that don't interest you. British reporters have no problem actually reporting on occurrences off their island, and no difficulty asking politicians the hard questions and expecting non-evasive answers. Who knew?

6. Money Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for a Richer Life ~ Whether or not you resolved to improve your finances this year, you should listen to this podcast. Everyone in the US should listen to this podcast. Like the others in the "Dirty Tips" series it presents information in under 10 minute bites. Laura Adams explains, simply and easily, such things as the difference between and Roth and a regular IRA, how to improve your credit scores, and home office dedications on your taxes. Being a west-coaster I must admit I found her accent a little annoying, but her information is entirely worth it.

7. NPR: Planet Money Podcast ~ One of the few NPR shows produced exclusively for the podcast world, and the only thing from NPR to make my top 10 list. They haven't quite got that part down yet, but they sure do have a high production values. 20 min or less, 2x a week, this podcast started as a means of explaining the US economic troubles using laymen's terms and simple analogies that everyone could understand but has become much more than that. No current event is too big, or too small, for these guys to tackle ~ from the recession, to a fruit stall in New York, to the Somalian pirates. The economy is not a topic I would generally follow, but there is something about this podcast I simply adore, and it is one of the first podcasts I listen too. And, most of the time, it isn't depressing either.

8. The Nutrition Diva's Quick and Dirty Tips for Eating Well and Feeling Fabulous ~ Are you one of the millions of people who resolved to lose weight this year, or get fit? This is your podcast. Weekly tips in under 8 minutes that are easy to understand and well researched. Monica goes into everything from the myths about coffee drinking, to how much vitamin D you should be taking, to overviews of the current fad diets. I love, love, love this podcast. She has a great voice and she talks nice and fast.

9. The Public Speaker's Quick and Dirty Tips for Improving Your Communication Skills ~ The Greeks and the Romans taught oration in school, and (like proper grammar) it is a lost art to the American education system. I teach university classes and the thing that frightens my students the most is not finals, but class presentations. Which is why I always make them present. Public speaking is a real art form that can only help you advance in life professionally or personally. I have used Lisa's 6 minute tips for class lectures, small talk at company parties, interviews, and discussion panels. No mater how good (or bad) you think you are and talking in front of an audience, this podcast can only help. Invaluable.

10. Savage Love Podcast ~ I dither over which relationship podcast is my favorite, but usually settle on Dan Savage because of his snarky no-holds-barred (literally) attitude. I don't always agree with him, but it sure is fun to listen to him rant. This is a calls-based advice show, so it is not the place to go if you are looking for specific answers to questions on sexual health, relationships, or sexuality. However, you will learn new things, run into someone with the same problems, and laugh a lot. He co-hosts with experts on occasion, to answer more complicated medical or D/S questions. Dan is gay and open/poly/kink friendly, so if you offend easily this is certainly not the podcast for you. I suggest the intermittent "Speaking of Sex" podcast from Planned Parenthood instead. I also recommend the Polyamory Weekly podcast, whether or not you are poly, for some good relationship and communication tips.

"Now Gail," I can hear you asking, "What if I resolved to be more fashionable? You, of all people, should be able to help me with this."

There, I am afraid, the podcasting world falls short. There were a number of excellent video podcasts covering the catwalk shows but they all seem to podfade within a year. You can catch my occasional segment on Brass Needles, but it only covers knitwear. If I were to do a podcast, I'd do a "Quick and Dirty Fashion Tips for Being More Stylish and Better Dressed." But I'm too busy to start a new project now, so I keep hoping someone else jumps in. The Product Girl faded two years ago, and I'm not interested in pods that focus on makeup. Also, they tend to be large file video, rather than small file audio tips, or they focus on some kind of product promotion and aren't objective. I'll keep looking and let you know if I find a good one.



Gail's Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
Retro actresses

Your Tisane of Smart:
London 1870s and now
Your Writerly Tinctures:
BBC Woman's Hour all about Elizabeth Gaskell.

Realitybypass says: "Over the top, sure. Charming, absolutely…and it left me craving treacle tart!"
SPOILER ALERT! Amazon and Powell's have posted Changeless cover along with blurb. Blurb gives bits of Soulless away so don't read if you haven't read the first book.
Blameless: Done, happy dance.
Super Secret Project H: notes stage, organizing next week
Super Secret Project F: notes stage, brainstorming this weekend
CAKE in Space: Trunked for the moment.

Quote of the Day:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
~ Henry David Thoreau